Taking back permission

I had an interesting thought today. Try saying this out loud “I give my body permission to relax”, then take a deep breath and let your body just do its thing. Did you feel even the tiniest of discomfort leaving your body? If you did not, try again but this time let go of the reigns of your body just for a moment to allow it to relax, even if its just for this instance. Did you feel any relaxation? Most of you did right? I’ve been playing with this concept for a while and noticing what happens when I not only give my body permission but give myself permission to do something.

The other night I was in the shower getting for a date and I had the thought, should I be going out this late. I wasn’t planning on leaving the house until 10 since he was working until then. (If you’ve read previous blog posts you are well aware I’ve been passing out waaaay before 10.) So I thought to myself, well why not, its fine, I’ve been out much later than this without any issue. Then it occurred to me, what was I looking for here to feel better about this? Ahhh yes, I was waiting on permission. Now to be clear I was still going to go, but there was this nagging feeling, mostly unconscious – that if I weren’t so intensely paying attention to every thought, every energy shift and almost every breath I would’ve missed it. So this is what felt off. So I said, “my dear Vanessa you have permission to go out and have fun.” Suddenly I was fine and fired up to go out!

So how much of your life are you waiting on permission for. Are you waiting on permission to make more money, more than your partner? To eat ice cream for breakfast? To go out and date more? What if you gave yourself that permission. Permission is not just the ok – go ahead, because most of us have that conquered already. Permission is the ok – go ahead and have a blast! And while you are having a blast please feel no guilt since you aren’t doing anything bad or wrong. Yikes right?! Just writing that made me shudder. How much of not giving myself permission and going into guilt and “I better not or I shouldn’t” have I been doing unconsciously?

“So how about this?”, I thought to myself. I’m asking who did I give permission over me to in all the various areas of my life. I came up with a list of my parents and authority figures and teachers. I didn’t name them specifically but had a list in general. Then I visualized all of them in front of me and I said to them all, “Ok, I’ve got it from here. I’m taking my permission back. You are no longer in charge of that area of my life.” Most of them left or disappeared from my vision when I said it once, but for a couple I kept repeating it and reassuring them I had this and stepping into a greater authority role in my life, then in moments the entire image disappeared.  Then I took out another mental sheet of paper and permanently signed my permission slip to do ANYTHING I desire, ever, for eternity, guilt free. Yep, guilt free.

So what did this change? I don’t know all the details yet, but I am feeling more creative, more free, more open, more myself. And since I’ve let go out of the reigns of my body where I don’t have to give it permission to relax before it’ll relax, well I wonder how it may change and look and feel differently now. See the body is always trying to right itself, so if there is a stuck energy or a negative energy, now it can just naturally let it go without waiting on us to give it that permission or to clear out the energy. That’s a huge start if you ask me!

So much of this was unconscious that it will show up in time and in so many different ways. I’m guessing it’ll make for a way more fun and free and happy though! Want some too? Sign that permission slip!