Emotions

When the Law of Attraction doesn’t work for you

life

I’ll admit, there were times I thought the Law Of Attraction wasn’t even real. I just couldn’t seem to get it to work. I, of course, watched other people get it to work, almost effortlessly I’ll add. Then there was me, up all night reading books about the LOA, or other books about the secret to the LOA, or books on receiving, or ones on frequency or vibration. I just couldn’t figure out the trick. What were other people doing that I wasn’t doing? I tried everything. I just knew there had to be somewhere I was blocked with receiving since there were a few things I could make happen, but why wasn’t this consistent if this is a law?

If you are like me where you just about gave up on the LOA, you’ll be happy to read this. I’m going to tell you exactly why it doesn’t work for some people and it works for others. There are several reasons that blew my mind when I found out. I’ll tell you one of them today, but stay tuned because I’m divulging everything…

Well let’s start with a short definition of the Law of Attraction. It says that what you focus on is what shows up in your life. Basically your dominant thoughts will manifest. This is why people have pictures of sports cars and vacations on their vision boards. We focus on it, we remind ourselves to feel what it’ll be like to have it, we think about it, we let go and there it is one day.

With this definition out there now, we can logically say that the Law of Attraction is working whether you think about it, or even know about it. It’s there producing your dominant thoughts as things, people, events and situations into your physical reality. You can see why knowing this exists is in your best interest because then you can focus on what you want to show up. Ok so far so good?

“I’m doing that and its not showing up. The opposite of what I want is showing up, or nothing is showing up at all. Help! I’m stuck!” This is what people ask me during sessions or through my written one question readings. I’m wording that a bit nicer. I know they’re frustrated so sometimes they’re a bit more murderous in their tone. (That doesn’t bother me. Like attracts like ūüėČ Law of Attraction pun totally intended.)

So one of ¬†the super secret reasons you are not getting what you want….You want it so much! If you feel super excited about it, or like you’ve waited so long for it and its FINALLY going to manifest, or it feels too good to be true, or it feels like “OMG my life would just be so fulfilled and perfect if I just had this…” and it feels so great to you and you’re in your head thinking about it, that’s where you are actually pushing that thing away because those are all discordant energies. Its not going to show up.

I’ve seen this with something as small as going to restaurant and everything being above and beyond what you expected. You tell a ton of people then you bring them and they’re like “meh” and the service or something else is off that day.

I’ve also seen with this something as big as “I met my twin flame! We’re going to be together!!”, but then that twin flame pushes¬†them away and it becomes this tense and emotional roller coaster of “How do I get them to like me?”.

Now I’m not saying if you are super excited the law of attraction won’t work. I AM saying though, that if the law of attraction isn’t working then it might be this reason.

So what do we do? We get grounded. We feel the earth beneath our feet. We reconnect with our bodies. We notice we’re having all these intense emotions and the thing we want isn’t showing up. Then we go mind-over-matter. You want to get yourself to a place where you having that thing seems normal, like no big deal. It’s not significant.

Think about the things that you have. You may be grateful for it, but its not over the top. You know its there, its no big deal. The key here is to not make anything or anyone more important or more special or more significant than you. And there it. Secret #1 laid out for you.

Stay tuned for the rest!!

Kisses,

Vanessa

Check out my new Soulmate Sessions! This is completely different from any other session I’ve done. The “Soulmate Master Team” of guides, angels, and spirit beings come in, push me out of the way and work on you to get you fully aligned to your soulmate or twin flame. I facilitate the session and tell you what’s going on and what they are doing. We tune into your soulmates energy and I can tell you what he or she¬†is¬†experiencing¬†and if that person is searching for you too! We don’t stop until you are aligned with each other. You take it from there. Read more about it at the link below!

http://stairwaytohealing.com/soulmates.html

Recreating Your Relationships

Do you find yourself often in discord with others? Perhaps they make you feel helpless, frustrated, hurt or victimized at times. Often I suggest feeling into what is going on before reacting to someone. Our reality is a sign of what is going on internally within ourselves and our own subconscious mind.

If you find yourself fighting with mostly men that could mean a disturbance with your masculine self that is not in balance with the feminine, if you are someone that relates to being more feminine. Do you feel like you are constantly being attacked? There is something within that needs attention and care and proper healing that maybe you’ve been protecting. These are just a couple of examples, but you don’t need to figure this out. It can be helpful to think about what was out of balance afterwards, but its definitely not necessary.

The best thing to do is to feel what is going on. Drop into the body, get out of the mind and feel what’s there. Take a deep breath and go right to the part that feels like its on fire, screaming for attention or seems to be at war with the rest.

Once you have it, take a breath and just send it love and nurturing. Give it your unconditional love and caring. Then watch it transform. Allow the resistance to melt away and let yourself come back into balance, healed and whole.

Our physical reality is a reflection of how we truly think, what we feel and our belief systems, which equals our true vibration. You may notice all of your relationships changing with ease and grace and your shifting vibration will attract more loving people and support and much more ease in your life.

Blessings to you,

Vanessa

A leap of faith…

How do you feel when someone tells you to just have faith? Or when you are guided to “take a leap of faith”? Is it scary? I used to think of faith as blind faith. It was as if I was being asked to just believe, even though I couldn’t see it, and to leap without regard for what may happen. So most of the time I would leap, then I’d step into this energy of hopefulness combined with trying to stay calm and open as I wait for it to happen. Well now I know that was completely working against me! This often left me in a state of perpetual waiting for something to happen.

Faith is actually KNOWING. It’s a true and strong belief in yourself, the outcome, or the universe/God/Spirit. It’s that feeling when you know you can definitely do this no matter what! You feel aligned and motivated and have this strong knowing that nothing is going to stop you. It can also be that feeling of just being able to let go completely and know things will work out because something bigger has it all in check. You’ll feel great about just letting go and not allowing any worry to creep up. If a feeling did creep up you wouldn’t ignore it, you would feel into it and see if there was something that needed to happen on your end. This is true faith.

Taking a leap of faith comes up in so many readings for people and it can be confusing as to how to do what you are being asked to do. It’s a strong belief in yourself and that things have a way of working out, especially when you release any fears and negative thoughts about things.

Love to you,

~V

Blissed Out of Polarity

I love listening to the pouring rain and watching it¬†pummel the exotic plants and trees. I am enchanted¬†as¬†the sky lights up and turns from bright orange to black as the night approaches. I watch as the stars struggle to radiate and shine behind these thick clouds. This is¬†bliss to me. I feel like I can breathe again, relax again, be me again. It’s when I am¬†the most at peace and my energy feels the clearest its been. Silence ensues within my body, and even the neighborhood goes quiet. The irony of the intense thunder outside creates the most intense stillness inside.

We are always coming into balance one way or another. This is the natural cycle of life. Did you ever notice how when there is chaos outside you get very still within yourself? Whether you are thinking of a plan of action, go into survival mode or even freeze up in fear, stillness becomes you. When you have stillness or joy within ever notice how someone comes along to knock you of alignment with the divine, or seems to fight the mood you are in? We seem to always be polarized and attracting the opposite to create that balance of Oneness that we truly live in. The more we fight it, the more it fights back. What we resist, persists. Its the same as when we go on a 5 day yoga retreat, or attend a 3 day energy workshop. We leave feeling great, open and expanded, then within days we can feel tight and contracted, and even old emotions can rise up to the surface.

When our vibration goes up and we finally feel amazing and on top of the world we tend to never want to come back down, so we naturally or even instinctually push¬†out those other emotions, energies and frequencies. We feel they are bad or we label them under the NO WAY category. I¬†know I do. When I feel great I feel like there is no way I’m coming back down. However, there is no such thing as exclusion in a world of energy when all is One¬†and needs negative and positive to operate. So what you decide you don’t want, comes fighting back to its rightful place as much as you fight to push it way. It’s like fighting your reversed mirror image. You attract people who feel threatened by your expansion or new found joy. They fight it because they feel excluded from your life. So how do we escape polarity but enjoy our bliss?

Accept all energies. Allow it to flow. Imagine the thing you want the most to happen. Imagine how you would feel if it already happened. If there’s a smile on your face that’s a good sign. If you feel light in your heart and an opening there, this is what acceptance feels like. Allow yourself to feel that and watch how much easier it is to stay blissful.

Kisses,

~V

 

The #1 Reason Manifestation Techniques Don’t Work

My guides keep reminding me of this precious detail every so often. We tend to get lost in our race to make things happen, to get what we want, to push toward our goals, and to clear the blockages in the way, energetic or otherwise. We focus on the minute details, we clear and clear and clear the energy and give it our all. We stay positive, focused, happy and do everything we learned to do about manifesting our dreams, even letting go of them so the universe can take care of it and make things happen. Okay, not all of us, but if you’re nodding¬†your head to this you know the pain of striving towards what you want every single day, sometimes working at it all day every day and seeing only minor shifts – if that. Sometimes we break down in frustration or seek more help, or find more blocks to clear, but it feels like an endless cycle with certain¬†things. So what’s going on?

Ask and You Shall Receive. That really is all it is. Did you ever ask for something, let it go and then see it show it up? Sometimes you hardly asked for it at all, it was just a passing thought in your mind – and there it was knocking at your door or coming to you asking you if you were interested in what they have to offer. So what is the difference here? Why does certain things show up so easily and other things you feel may never change?

Many books will tell you the problem is¬†about the receiving. You have asked for it, but you are not open to receive it. You’re not a good receiver. You have to let go and just receive. But, I’ll tell you something different, a secret of sorts.

Asking is receiving.

When you ask for something and you are clear as to what you want, but you are not hung up on the need of it thinking it will change your life, or you’ll finally be set free, it is free to come to you. If there is nothing really attached to the asking, but just the desire, it will show up. If there is a lot riding on the outcome of that thing showing up, or you just want it oh so badly, it won’t show up so easily.

Here’s why. You don’t really want it. It’s pretty simple, if you really wanted it, you would have it already. I don’t mean “want” as in lack, like wanting something so badly that it hurts, or makes you sad/miserable/or depressed in any way. I mean desiring it, from a calm relaxed place. A place where you know you can have it. Think of it like this, you have three meals in the refrigerator and someone asks you which one you want. You are coming from a place of having, or a calm place of knowing, versus, the frustrated feeling of lacking and being without that comes up when you think of thing you want so much that you have been working so hard to get all these years.

I have a friend that keeps asking me when she’ll find a job, or what she has to do to get that perfect job. She gets other jobs, minimum wage ones that she doesn’t like to do. She wants a certain type of job. When I tested her “Truth, do you really want a job?” It was a no. You can try this at home. What is that you have been striving for all these years? Truth, do you really desire¬†it? If you do muscle testing you can test to see what you get here. If not, you can feel deep down into your body, not in your head as your head will tell you “yes you do want it of course duh!”. What does your body say? This may not always be the answer, but so many times it goes back to something as simple as this. Do you really want this thing or not? Maybe you are waiting for more perfect conditions to show up. Like losing weight first, then having that relationship. Or maybe feeling like you need to fix something about yourself first before you get out there and get that job. When we looked at this further, my friend felt like she wasn’t good enough for a better job, so deep down she didn’t want the job yet because she felt it was above her.

So what do you do about this? Well, you can look at where you are giving mixed signals to the universe. I advised my friend to focus on both sides of the coin for faster results, what is blocking you from wanting it and is what you want best suited for you right now? One thing was working on her self-esteem and confidence and trust in herself to build up her value, and the other side of this was to sit with the idea of what she thought she wanted. Why did she want this type of job? What did she think it would give her? Did she indeed want this or just the status of the job so she could feel a certain way? Would she be better suited to something else, or was she ready to put her fears aside step into something bigger? She is currently sorting through all of this, but I know when she stops giving mixed signals to the universe and puts out one message clearly – I know she will get what she truly wants.

Kisses,

~V

Are you loving from your heart or your head?

Are you loving from your heart or your head?

This is a strange phenomena I’ve come across lately. Being love vs. doing loving actions based on what we think the idea of love is. The latter is way too common. You could be a head lover if¬†you’ve found yourself saying “I’ve been very loving. I do all the right things. I’m a good person. Why can’t I get what I want? I feel forgotten, overlooked, unappreciated.” We could even add “I do so much for people and what do I get in return?!”. Or, “I’ve put so much good out in the world, what’s going on?!” If you resonate with any of that, there’s a big chance you are a head lover. Some other signs of this are you not attracting people you like and you seem to attract the ones you don’t like quite easily. Or maybe you do like them, but they don’t stick around, or you find out their feelings aren’t mutual after they seemed to be interested at first.

So if you’re a head lover, read on dear friend. We welcome you. You are not alone.

I know I’m dropping a bomb here when I say this, but here goes…

You are not actually loving.

Well now that that’s out of the way, let me say, you are a loving person. You are just not loving – as in the verb/action form of it. You are being the adjective. You’ve moved all that wondrous, amazing yumminess up to your head, which does nothing for you there. It just makes you seem loving. Its how people might describe you, with the adjective loving. The truth here is that you are a tremendously emotional or sensitive-to-feelings type of person, which is why you thought its much safer to pack up and move into the headspace. Perhaps your heart got hurt and you didn’t have to the tools to heal it, so you go through loving actions (notice the descriptor of love here) but can’t seem to attract your real desires¬†in your life in some area because the actual action of loving (verb usage here), which is not a mental state, but an actual embodied state,¬†isn’t¬†happening.

So go to your heart. What’s there? Do you feel anything? Is it heavy? Is it fine?

Now take your awareness from your beautiful and genius mind, which I’m sure is so with this group¬†since we’ve spent so much time there, and put that awareness inside your heart. Breathe in and out slowly a few times. What’s there? Muck and yuck? Puppies and rainbows? I’m not here to judge. When I went to my heart it was full of grief, layers and layers worth.

The heart has a gigantic magnetic field. This is what actually manifests our life. As within so without. So this is why no matter how many times you tell yourself you are going to get that job, that extra money, or a loving mate to show up, it doesn’t happen. You can think positive thoughts day and night, even have moments of feeling that confidence, but in the end it is the state of your heart that creates your outside world. Only when your heart is open and clearer, then those positive thoughts and moments of strong feelings of confidence flow through and can help to manifest what you desire.

Essentially, it would be in your best interest if everything came from love, and if its not possible in that moment, it could be forgiveness. Anything else is considered a withholding of love. The only person we can actually withhold love from is ourselves. Did you ever withhold love from someone because you were upset? Perhaps your mind felt self-satisfied, but did you notice your feelings were unbalanced in some way, maybe even a little empty?

The truth is this. You are LOVE. Love is just another word for your infinite source energy, or your spirit, or your creator, or the universe. So either you are coming from YOU Рyour authentic self Рlove, or you are cutting off from yourself, source, and spirit.

Whoa right!? When you come from love Рyouyou easily magnetize your deepest desires and things that are perfect for you without even asking.

When you have trouble coming from love, forgiveness is a wise choice. It opens up the heart and lets things flow and clears the karma of lifetimes gone by. Its all too easy to go back to the head and think we are open-hearted because we are being nice and even caring. When we come from the heart there is so much less work because we are being it and there is less doing or saving of anyone else.

One way to check this is to stop and feel. Are there endless thoughts in your mind? Do you get bored easily and need outside stimulation more often than not? You’re probably in the head.

Are you aware of your feelings (even if they are ones you consider negative) and is your mind mostly quiet? Do you do and say things that feel in alignment with you. Then you are most likely in the heart.

There’s a reason you’ve been in the head. We know its difficult, and it hurts to revisit what’s trapped there in the heart, but letting go and forgiveness will give you all that you seek.

Love & Blessings,

V

Head vs. Heart – Moving Beyond the Eternal Struggle for Power

Whether it be after a first date with someone you really like, or a job interview, or some type of lead that you have been asking for and waiting for – why do seemingly wonderful opportunities just keep fizzling away for you, or not even show up?

Your logical mind says it’ll never happen. It won’t work! It may even give you an entire list of reasons why it won’t work. It’ll show you the scenario in your head over and over again. Your emotions want you to feel that ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! Anything is possible! You want to get really excited, you want to start planning for the future. You may even feel like your time has come, but you hold back – because the mind is warning you and you don’t want to get carried away. So which one do you follow?

Whose right?

Both and none actually! Its your next step that makes all the difference!

  • Listen to your mind, acknowledge it makes a valid points. See the different scenarios it’ll play out for you. Let it run wild, for a limited amount of time. Then say enough, and let that go. The mind has important messages to share, even if it seems to always give you the worst case scenario. It might be trying to protect you from something similar that has happened in the past, or it may be giving you an awareness of the future and how this might turn out.

Many people manifest opportunities or possibilities, but they never seem to work out. The opportunities fizzle away. They seem to be unable to move past a certain point with things. It seems like the dream job is showing up, or the dream partner is showing up, but then it all just disappears as fast it came. So many people ask me WHY? What are they doing wrong? Why won’t the universe deliver what they have asked for? They have waited forever!

Having been there, done that a million + times, I now have an answer. The tendency is to stop after the first point, for many people. This is where we stop our energy and wait for the next thing to happen. However, the key is to keep moving. There is an energy that created all of this to begin with. If you stop there you have now stopped the energy from moving and it’ll feel like you are going back to the starting point over and over.

Let’s move on to the next point and keep that energy flowing.¬†Our emotions are our bridge to the body.

  • Feel all those emotions. Let them run wild, even if its a total contraction to what your mind just showed you. Feel the giddiness and the excitement from your date, even though the mind showed you that he might not call you back. Feel the excitement of your interview, the nerves, the worry, even if your mind is saying its ok, you did fine. It’s key to feel all of your emotions, no matter what they are.

This is a hard one for many people because they feel like if they “give in” to the emotions they are going to get invested, then will be really disappointed when it doesn’t work out and feel as though they should have listened to their head and stopped there. Now I’m not telling you it will work out, I’m saying feel it anyway. If this one opportunity doesn’t work out – you would have moved the energy ahead enough for something else to come along that you can go further with.

Emotions are vital to our well-being. If we just listen to our head, then we are ignoring the body and repressing emotions. We are making our body invalid and setting ourselves up for anything from anxiety (at seemingly random times) to disease. So how do we get out of those emotions – they seem like they can run forever. For example if you are anxious and let yourself feel it, it can seem like you are anxious all day or for days! Let’s move on to the next points.

  • Get in tune with your body. Center yourself. Allow your emotions from an observer perspective. Know that you are going to allow and watch the emotions without any attachment or judgement. Know that you are watching it, being there for yourself – and of course what you observe from this perspective tends to disappear when its been fully expressed. This is where we can just observe something and melt away blocks, blocks that say – “I’m afraid to try”, “I’m afraid to fail”, and so on.¬†So after a period of time you may feel most of those emotions dissipating.

And finally…

  • Do some form of conscious movement. It’s better to get a feel for what your body wants to do – whether it be tai chi or a run, dancing, cleaning the house, etc. However, if you are bit out of tune with your body due to repressing emotions in the past, you may not get a sense of what would be most beneficial. At this point, any movement is good. Through the conscious movement you are moving the emotions out of your body. You should start to feel a sense of peace and like you are ready for the next step, which should show up in your reality naturally at this point.

This is where the energy has moved far enough for the universe to bring you the next thing. The next thing that takes you further, if not all the way to what you desire. This is how we are meant to naturally move through life.

Loving your mind, body and soul,

~V