Motivation

When the Law of Attraction doesn’t work for you

life

I’ll admit, there were times I thought the Law Of Attraction wasn’t even real. I just couldn’t seem to get it to work. I, of course, watched other people get it to work, almost effortlessly I’ll add. Then there was me, up all night reading books about the LOA, or other books about the secret to the LOA, or books on receiving, or ones on frequency or vibration. I just couldn’t figure out the trick. What were other people doing that I wasn’t doing? I tried everything. I just knew there had to be somewhere I was blocked with receiving since there were a few things I could make happen, but why wasn’t this consistent if this is a law?

If you are like me where you just about gave up on the LOA, you’ll be happy to read this. I’m going to tell you exactly why it doesn’t work for some people and it works for others. There are several reasons that blew my mind when I found out. I’ll tell you one of them today, but stay tuned because I’m divulging everything…

Well let’s start with a short definition of the Law of Attraction. It says that what you focus on is what shows up in your life. Basically your dominant thoughts will manifest. This is why people have pictures of sports cars and vacations on their vision boards. We focus on it, we remind ourselves to feel what it’ll be like to have it, we think about it, we let go and there it is one day.

With this definition out there now, we can logically say that the Law of Attraction is working whether you think about it, or even know about it. It’s there producing your dominant thoughts as things, people, events and situations into your physical reality. You can see why knowing this exists is in your best interest because then you can focus on what you want to show up. Ok so far so good?

“I’m doing that and its not showing up. The opposite of what I want is showing up, or nothing is showing up at all. Help! I’m stuck!” This is what people ask me during sessions or through my written one question readings. I’m wording that a bit nicer. I know they’re frustrated so sometimes they’re a bit more murderous in their tone. (That doesn’t bother me. Like attracts like ūüėČ Law of Attraction pun totally intended.)

So one of ¬†the super secret reasons you are not getting what you want….You want it so much! If you feel super excited about it, or like you’ve waited so long for it and its FINALLY going to manifest, or it feels too good to be true, or it feels like “OMG my life would just be so fulfilled and perfect if I just had this…” and it feels so great to you and you’re in your head thinking about it, that’s where you are actually pushing that thing away because those are all discordant energies. Its not going to show up.

I’ve seen this with something as small as going to restaurant and everything being above and beyond what you expected. You tell a ton of people then you bring them and they’re like “meh” and the service or something else is off that day.

I’ve also seen with this something as big as “I met my twin flame! We’re going to be together!!”, but then that twin flame pushes¬†them away and it becomes this tense and emotional roller coaster of “How do I get them to like me?”.

Now I’m not saying if you are super excited the law of attraction won’t work. I AM saying though, that if the law of attraction isn’t working then it might be this reason.

So what do we do? We get grounded. We feel the earth beneath our feet. We reconnect with our bodies. We notice we’re having all these intense emotions and the thing we want isn’t showing up. Then we go mind-over-matter. You want to get yourself to a place where you having that thing seems normal, like no big deal. It’s not significant.

Think about the things that you have. You may be grateful for it, but its not over the top. You know its there, its no big deal. The key here is to not make anything or anyone more important or more special or more significant than you. And there it. Secret #1 laid out for you.

Stay tuned for the rest!!

Kisses,

Vanessa

Check out my new Soulmate Sessions! This is completely different from any other session I’ve done. The “Soulmate Master Team” of guides, angels, and spirit beings come in, push me out of the way and work on you to get you fully aligned to your soulmate or twin flame. I facilitate the session and tell you what’s going on and what they are doing. We tune into your soulmates energy and I can tell you what he or she¬†is¬†experiencing¬†and if that person is searching for you too! We don’t stop until you are aligned with each other. You take it from there. Read more about it at the link below!

http://stairwaytohealing.com/soulmates.html

A leap of faith…

How do you feel when someone tells you to just have faith? Or when you are guided to “take a leap of faith”? Is it scary? I used to think of faith as blind faith. It was as if I was being asked to just believe, even though I couldn’t see it, and to leap without regard for what may happen. So most of the time I would leap, then I’d step into this energy of hopefulness combined with trying to stay calm and open as I wait for it to happen. Well now I know that was completely working against me! This often left me in a state of perpetual waiting for something to happen.

Faith is actually KNOWING. It’s a true and strong belief in yourself, the outcome, or the universe/God/Spirit. It’s that feeling when you know you can definitely do this no matter what! You feel aligned and motivated and have this strong knowing that nothing is going to stop you. It can also be that feeling of just being able to let go completely and know things will work out because something bigger has it all in check. You’ll feel great about just letting go and not allowing any worry to creep up. If a feeling did creep up you wouldn’t ignore it, you would feel into it and see if there was something that needed to happen on your end. This is true faith.

Taking a leap of faith comes up in so many readings for people and it can be confusing as to how to do what you are being asked to do. It’s a strong belief in yourself and that things have a way of working out, especially when you release any fears and negative thoughts about things.

Love to you,

~V

Today’s Thought

A Healing Mantra:

I love all the loved and unloved parts of myself.

I accept all the accepted and unaccepted parts of myself.

I approve of all unapproved and rejected parts of myself.

Speak this mantra throughout your day and watch your energy shift. The more you feel it as you say it, the better.

This is a simple step to begin self-healing, deepen it, and refocus your energy and thoughts on yourself. These statements are especially helpful if you find that you are outwardly focused on others, or find that you look for love, approval and acceptance outside of yourself. The more you can find it within, the easier your life will flow.

Love to you always,

Vanessa

The #1 Reason Manifestation Techniques Don’t Work

My guides keep reminding me of this precious detail every so often. We tend to get lost in our race to make things happen, to get what we want, to push toward our goals, and to clear the blockages in the way, energetic or otherwise. We focus on the minute details, we clear and clear and clear the energy and give it our all. We stay positive, focused, happy and do everything we learned to do about manifesting our dreams, even letting go of them so the universe can take care of it and make things happen. Okay, not all of us, but if you’re nodding¬†your head to this you know the pain of striving towards what you want every single day, sometimes working at it all day every day and seeing only minor shifts – if that. Sometimes we break down in frustration or seek more help, or find more blocks to clear, but it feels like an endless cycle with certain¬†things. So what’s going on?

Ask and You Shall Receive. That really is all it is. Did you ever ask for something, let it go and then see it show it up? Sometimes you hardly asked for it at all, it was just a passing thought in your mind – and there it was knocking at your door or coming to you asking you if you were interested in what they have to offer. So what is the difference here? Why does certain things show up so easily and other things you feel may never change?

Many books will tell you the problem is¬†about the receiving. You have asked for it, but you are not open to receive it. You’re not a good receiver. You have to let go and just receive. But, I’ll tell you something different, a secret of sorts.

Asking is receiving.

When you ask for something and you are clear as to what you want, but you are not hung up on the need of it thinking it will change your life, or you’ll finally be set free, it is free to come to you. If there is nothing really attached to the asking, but just the desire, it will show up. If there is a lot riding on the outcome of that thing showing up, or you just want it oh so badly, it won’t show up so easily.

Here’s why. You don’t really want it. It’s pretty simple, if you really wanted it, you would have it already. I don’t mean “want” as in lack, like wanting something so badly that it hurts, or makes you sad/miserable/or depressed in any way. I mean desiring it, from a calm relaxed place. A place where you know you can have it. Think of it like this, you have three meals in the refrigerator and someone asks you which one you want. You are coming from a place of having, or a calm place of knowing, versus, the frustrated feeling of lacking and being without that comes up when you think of thing you want so much that you have been working so hard to get all these years.

I have a friend that keeps asking me when she’ll find a job, or what she has to do to get that perfect job. She gets other jobs, minimum wage ones that she doesn’t like to do. She wants a certain type of job. When I tested her “Truth, do you really want a job?” It was a no. You can try this at home. What is that you have been striving for all these years? Truth, do you really desire¬†it? If you do muscle testing you can test to see what you get here. If not, you can feel deep down into your body, not in your head as your head will tell you “yes you do want it of course duh!”. What does your body say? This may not always be the answer, but so many times it goes back to something as simple as this. Do you really want this thing or not? Maybe you are waiting for more perfect conditions to show up. Like losing weight first, then having that relationship. Or maybe feeling like you need to fix something about yourself first before you get out there and get that job. When we looked at this further, my friend felt like she wasn’t good enough for a better job, so deep down she didn’t want the job yet because she felt it was above her.

So what do you do about this? Well, you can look at where you are giving mixed signals to the universe. I advised my friend to focus on both sides of the coin for faster results, what is blocking you from wanting it and is what you want best suited for you right now? One thing was working on her self-esteem and confidence and trust in herself to build up her value, and the other side of this was to sit with the idea of what she thought she wanted. Why did she want this type of job? What did she think it would give her? Did she indeed want this or just the status of the job so she could feel a certain way? Would she be better suited to something else, or was she ready to put her fears aside step into something bigger? She is currently sorting through all of this, but I know when she stops giving mixed signals to the universe and puts out one message clearly – I know she will get what she truly wants.

Kisses,

~V

Having Faith. When you know, you just know.

People often ask me about faith. It usually doesn’t come as a direct question, since most people have a sense of faith or already have touched upon it, or even ridden its waves of divinity. It tends to come as “Why should i have faith? I’ve trusted in the universe before and nothing happened.” or “Well, I’ll have faith, we’ll see..” and they watch and wait for the universe to either fulfill their dream or pull the rug out from under as usual. However, that’s not actually faith in the divine. That’s faith in mistrust of the universe, or faith in darkness, negativity, or the universe conspiring against you. Faith is not a we’ll-see attitude, nor does it have room for the slightest doubt, not even a drop. The easiest way for me to talk about faith is through a story.

In 2005 I was growing very tired of my job. I mean I loved it, I felt I was good at it, there were nice people, there was room to grow, there was support, there was money and great vacations. I mean, lots of good stuff here. However, I knew once I started growing tired that it would be time to move on. I always knew I would do something else, and that work was temporary, but never knew what or when a new beginning would strike.

I had no clue what else I could be good at besides what I went to college to do. I also knew I was blessed to have such a great job in software engineering. However, there was always this knowing that it wasn’t for me. That something totally different and unique would be my calling. After 7 years in the field I started to get this inkling it was time to go. I grew tired of going in to work, but mostly it felt like I lost my passion for it. As I paid attention to this feeling, it grew louder and louder. I felt like an entire life change was ahead, but I still didn’t know what. Finally I felt like I needed to make a first move. So I gave my notice that I was leaving.

Well, it was an interesting reaction from people when I explained I didn’t know what I was leaving a great job for. Yet, I was unmoved. It didn’t bother me at all whatever they might have thought or said among themselves. I figured they thought I was crazy, and I am probably am. Yet I stood firm. As I drove home a little bit of panic set in, as I drove to the house I had a mortgage on. Oh yes, bills. What would happen to me? Yet, I still couldn’t even go into a full-fledged panic or freak out. I was unusually calm for once in my life. When I arrived home that night I said, “God, please show me what career I am to do, what job I am to do, or what I am to do next. PLEASE!”. I left it at that.

I went to work the next day and the analytical brain was starting to kick in, like – “Vanessa, you better start to think about what it is you want to do already. Stop wasting time!” I made it through the day and I knew no matter what thoughts arose I was doing the right thing. It felt like a cross between intuition and trust that I would make it. I didn’t know at the time I was riding on full-fledged faith here. I just knew that I needed to trust this. I’m not the most decisive person (which frustrates the heck out of my friends lol sorry!), so when I know something, I know that I know that I know!

I arrived home and when I opened the mailbox there was one piece of mail. It was a postcard. It said “Become a healer! Learn Qi Gong and heal yourself and others!”. And there you have it. I saw that and without a doubt I just knew that was the next thing. I knew I was born to be a healer, I just never knew it could be a job. It was scary to think about since back then it was the most difficult field to do well in, but there was no doubt in mind this is what God wanted me to do. So this is where I started. I learned everything I could in workshops, classes, books, home courses and schools – that’s how much passion I had. That was also another sign that this was for me. God speaks to us in feelings, and in that moment my faith was to just pay attention and listen and follow the trail home.

I tell that story when people ask me about faith because its not about having faith, its about having knowing. Just knowing you are taken care of. Knowing the universe is conspiring to please you. Knowing everything is happening for your good. If we have any doubts at all, that’s not true knowing. There is no room for doubt in faith. There is no space for prove-it-to-me, or disbelief. This also wasn’t blind faith, although it may appear that way on the surface. I always knew there was more. I could feel it. When you know you just know. I tell clients that if there is something you need to have faith about and have trouble getting there, ask yourself, what do you know about this. Forget the word faith, and tune into what you know beyond a shadow of a doubt. Tune into your feelings. Go from there.

Kisses,
~V

Is Motivation Actually Sabotaging You?

I was talking to a friend this morning and while looking at her energy, well, I noticed she had her motivation in the wrong place. Ever hear of that? Probably not. I heard the guides say to her, your motivation is in the wrong place, that’s why its not working and you are judging yourself or feeling hopeless with this situation. So where does your motivation need to be? Well, it doesn’t need to be in the beginning. Motivation is not what makes you change. Motivation is not what opens your eyes to something. You can read motivational messages all day long and it wouldn’t help you join the gym necessarily or break up with someone that you know is causing you more pain than pleasure.

Motivation needs to be in the middle somewhere. Once you’ve decided to make a change and then set a goal and are putting something for the new you in place and perhaps you feel down, or get stuck, well that is where motivation steps in. It can be simple as calling a friend, hopping on Facebook and seeing a motivational message, or even giving yourself a pep talk. Its a trigger that’s keeps you on track, or gets you out the door to the gym when its way to cold outside to even start the car, never-mind get up from under the fluffy down comforter.

Notice how when a kind and caring family member tries to talk to you about losing weight, your reaction is not a pleasant one? Or when someone tells you to just leave your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife already – or someone just comes over and gives you tons of advice about how to better your life, and how that tends to create a really bad emotional response? They are trying to motivate you because they see where something could be different in your life.

So what’s the key here? Well, you haven’t chosen it yet so motivation is not going to work. What will work – is inspiration! Motivational speakers are actually inspirational speakers. You have to inspire change first, and then you choose something different for your life, then you set a goal or plan to make something more solid, then the motivation comes in to keep you going. Inspirational speakers aren’t like a coach to just pump you up and get you through, they tell you their entire story, they let you know change is possible, that there is something more, something greater, and that yes you can have it too.

So what did I learn today? Well – before I make a new years resolution or goal I need to be inspired first. I need to know its really possible, I need to feel good about it, and I need to soak up positive energy and then really decide that is is something I in fact want and can do. No more making a change because someone is motivating me in one direction or another. It’ll be short lived and I will just have resentment towards them and be judging myself.

If you are to be successful with your goals YOU and only YOU have to choose it and decide it will be done. What will you let inspire you first?

Kisses,
V

…And I also saw a picture of someone’s living room that had an all glass wall displaying the sunrise over the open water, and the ocean waves came right up to the lanai almost. It was incredible and left me breathless. When I think of a house its hard to think about anything other than that. Now that is some inspiration that is compelling me to make a choice and set a goal…