Monthly Archives: October 2013

Why Visualization Doesn’t Work

Well, maybe doesn’t work is a little harsh. Why is visualization hit or miss at best? First a disclaimer: If it works for you, read no further – you are doing it in a way that works for you – feel free to email me and let me know! Okay! I’m not talking about the creative visualization we all do when we put together outfits in our minds, or figure out how to work on a project, or even when we visualize how our day is going to go. These are really task oriented and is normal and natural to visualize. What I’m talking about here is the visualization to manifest something – whether it be more money, a car, a lover, a home, etc.

A friend of mine (no its not me!) has been visualizing her future husband coming  to her for at least 7 years, perhaps more, but these are  the painful, lonely, and sometimes empowering years of single life that I can attest to. Let’s call her “Gloria” so she doesn’t kill me right after this is posted.  Lovely Gloria has been doing everything right, by the book. Visualize before bed and when you wake up, that’s when you are already in a meditative state. See him coming to you. Write down what you want in a man. Be specific, but not too specific – ever heard that one before? LOL Think about him all the time. Make space in your closet and bathroom. Wear gorgeous underwear in case you meet him on the street. Um, this last one might be from a “different” book I read. Anyway, she is doing all these things and reading the countless books to back this up. Yet, nothing, nada. She finally asked me a question one day, “Vanessa, what am I doing wrong?”. See, even though we knew each other she was really busy being hopeful and following the guidance and being virtuous and full of patience and trying to stay positive. Sound familiar?

When I began to really look at her situation, I could see each time she went in to visualize she was being an energy of “hopeful” and “eeek…maybe one day!” and “staying positive”. She was being all the wrong energies. Those are all energies of lacking. So each time she went in to visualize it was a lacking energy, and that is what she kept reaffirming. You’ve probably heard that you need to be the energy of “already having it”. So if you are already doing that, you are one step up!

Where a lot of people really get stuck with all of this though is the visualization part. See, the other twist here was she was visualizing specific scenarios happening – when that is not how this guy is going to come into her life.  What is going to work a lot better here is to “FEEL” how you will feel when this person is in your life. This feeling makes the energy more solid and then hands it off to the universe to fulfill for you, and then you can take the next steps in the physical world – such as going out more, using a dating site, etc. You are also being a strong enough vibration to attract this person, especially if you practice feeling like this more often than not. You don’t want to be worried about the how, its more about how you feel. The universe takes care of the how.

See, my friend Gloria was using more imagination and fantasy of how her partner will be and what that would be like – so it was keeping it in the energetic realm. When she brings down the feeling of actually having him it becomes more solid and real.

The other key here is that things never show up as you expect them to. They never usually look like what you had pictured in your mind. WHY? Well – if you could picture how something will show up or what they look like then you are using your psychic senses and having a psychic vision. Otherwise, you are basing it off of what you already know, which is an image of lacking that thing that you so desire. So unless its a psychic vision, the image is coming from a fantasy or an energy of lack. Neither of those two are going to help you create what you want.

So what to do? Well, go into what you want to feel like. Then if an image comes, yay! If not, continue with the feeling until its a normal part of your life. You will be surprised how the universe intends to fulfill these feelings/vibrations you are putting out there.

That’s it for now!




Moving Mountains with Every Muscle

Do you sometimes trip over things that you didn’t see was there?

Do you forget what you were going to do just as you go to do it?

Do you go over things in your mind – over and over on a loop?

Do you have trouble relaxing your mind and falling asleep at night?

Are there parts of your body that you haven’t felt in a long, long time?

Do you feel light and airy and daydream a lot?

Do things seem really great in your mind then suddenly just fizzle away?

If so, you might be living in your head, or worse, outer space – that space right in front of and just above your head.

Living in our head is a great way to plan things out, think up new ideas, visualize, and so on, but do you wish you had more presence and that people heard, saw and acknowledged you more? Do you wish to have more confidence? Its time to get more embodied!  There’s a time and a place for the mind, then there’s a time and a place for the body. Unfortunately most people spend 90% in the head and 10% embodied.  The head space will only get you so far, but we need to be embodied to have things physically manifest in our lives, to be taken seriously and noticed, and to create that dream life down here on Earth!

This blog is full of tips on embodiment since a lot of people who are more spiritually oriented tend to live in the head or above and have a hard time getting things to work the way they want to. So here’s your next tip:

To get embodied quickly – stand up – walk slowly around the room using every muscle in your body. Start from your feet, feel all those muscles, then your legs, move and flex all those muscles. Continue to walk around the room and work your way up to your facial muscles. You will be so focused on your body it instantly snaps you out of your head.

Now from this place you can take your action and see if that feels different to you. Make your phone calls, go to bed, go workout, go for a walk, even have a conversation. Notice what and how this feels different for you and if things are easier and less stressful over time as you spend more time in the body.


Delaying Destiny

People always ask me, are our lives predetermined? Is everything up to fate, or do we have total free will? Are some things our destiny, how does it all work? Well the answer to this isn’t as simple as it sounds like it might be – as its yes and no to all of the above!

We are born with an infinite number of life paths, although many of them might have the same people involved on almost every path as it could be our destiny to connect with certain people. On each path your interaction with them could be a little bit different. As you go through your life and make a choice the path that is in sync with your choice aligns with you and you walk into that future. As you make the next choice and the next choice and so on, the correct path lines up with you. Most people that live in a comfort zone or that tend to make the same type of choices, tend to stay on one path for most of their lives, and their choices align with what is already on that path. When I look at the paths of those people it tends to be solid and I can see the timing of when things will show up in their lives pretty easily.

However, those that make drastic spur of the moment life altering decisions, well they will tend to switch paths constantly – and in a reading I rarely see a set future, nothing feels solid. Instead I will look at all their possible futures and help them choose which one would give them the most out of their life and lead them to where they want to go.

Then there are a lot of people who have engaged in self-help and metaphysics, or people who just decide they have had enough and are determined to change – they usually lie somewhere in between with all of this. As you heal certain core wounds you tend to drastically alter your future – meaning you pull in and create a new life path than the one you were previously on. However, here’s where people get stuck. We’ve been told to sit back and wait and do nothing, let the universe bring you your gifts – but that’s not entirely true. Its important for us to let go and not dwell on things and to get out of our heads, but sitting back and waiting never did anybody any good! So many people have asked me when their dream guy is going to show up at their door, or find them. Unless he can see through walls and has mental gps, you have to be somewhere he can find you.

For example, you may be destined to meet a certain person, but if you sit back, wait, have faith – you will start to question, “What am I doing wrong? What’s going on? I’ve done all this healing!”. This is how we delay destiny. We get onto our new path that is more clear, and allows for a deep soulmate connection for example, but then we don’t move forward on it. We feel like the heavy lifting is done, now comes the prize. Not true, keep walking forward, keep going. When you have healed and cleared a lot of things in your life, the path that is now before you is much clearer for you to go forth, but also requires more action than someone for example, that has done little to no healing and/or stays in a comfort zone of no-change. It might feel like a catch 22. You might be saying, then why do the work? Well, because the type of person you will meet and the type of experiences you will have will be much for fulfilling and mean so much more.

If you find yourself in this last category, how do you stop delaying destiny? I advise my clients to never sit back and just have faith here, this is where you want to clear your mind, get out of your head, get into your body and do some movement. Ask yourself what would be appropriate. Say you would like to meet someone. Clear your mind, get into your body, and affirm you will meet someone to be in relationship with. Then go out and take action, be out as much as possible, be available in more than one way. As you live more in your body than your head different thoughts and ideas will come to you. It could be simple as taking a walk in the park, then an idea comes to go to a museum. Then at the museum you realize you like antiques. You now have a new hobby, something to take you out more, and who knows, it keeps going. This is what your life path looks like. When you clear your head you will be able to sense the next thing on your path, which is taking that walk, then the museum and so on. This is how you work and walk the new upgraded path you’re now aligned to after all that healing work!

Here’s to no more waiting or getting stuck!